The boys with Brazilian's - a weekend of thongs and new openings!

Dear Scratchers,


Samba dancers, Gentleman's Clubs and a full on Scratch radio expose!… sounds like another normal day in the house of Westminster I know… but NO… it’s the story of another memorable weekend in the life of your favourite old new wave band!

Friday July 17th

From the far flung corners of London and Hertfordshire they came… to converge on the fantastically classy Cobden Club in Westbourne Park, London, W10.

Smoky Carrot’s PR team leader John Bromage was the mastermind behind the gig that we’d added to a night that was to feature our first Recharged Radio live ‘unplugged’ session for our mate Jordan Thomas.

We told John it would be tight squeezing in a soundcheck as we had to get to the radio station for 6.45… and so it proved, having arrived at 5.15 (the only band in the world ever to be on time for a soundcheck!) and waited with no sight of a soundman, drumkit or even someone to turn the stage lights on, so as the clock ticked to 6.15, the band left the Cobden with their ‘acoustics’ and headed purposefully towards Westbourne Park tube, having not even had to chance to plug their amps in…

It was a humid evening and those 80’s wool two-tone suits ain’t that good in the air conditioning department. Least of all after a 10 minute, swift walk and then a game of Sardines with 1000’s of strangers on the rush hour tube!

The torrential rain that greeted the fab 5 at Great Portland Street was almost blessed relief!

Conscious that the clock was against us, but also gagging like an Alsatian locked in it’s masters car all day with no windows open in the middle Mumbai… a quick detour to the ‘offy’ couldn’t be resisted…

Jordan (the main man, head honcho, top geezer and presenter of the station… ) greeted us on the stairs of Recharged Radio and hurried the steaming, sweating, bedraggled 5 some into the studio, with around 10 minutes to spare before the show was to begin.

A quick run through, a slurp of lager and at last it was chill time… Jordan was co-hosted on this occasion by the infinitely more pleasing on the eye Minkie (no disrespect Alex and Dave of course!)

The show began by powering into the latest and greatest in unsigned talent as The Scratch, perused their name in ink, with yet another appearance in the ever influential Tourdates unsigned chart… that’s our 10th week in the top 10 since May! With ‘You want the World’ nestling at number 2 (previously number 1).

Refreshed and ready John, Andy, Filthy ‘fish’ Whitty and Grim took to the live room, as the Baron looked on with a lager in each hand…

Title track of the new album ‘Whatever happened to Friday night?’ kicked off proceedings; followed by another former Tourdates number 2. ‘Destroyed by the look of Love’ with the set finaléd by ‘classic’ ‘Night Bus or Milk Train’ fave ‘Strange 4Play’. Here’s hoping it sounded as good as if felt in the studio, out in radioland!… keep a check on our website’s in the next week or two as Jordan will be picking his fave for the recharged myspace player! And you’ll be the first to find out which it is!

Great, part 1 successfully completed it was time to return to The Cobden, to see how our soundcheck had gone in our absence!!!?

We arrived back at around 9.30 to find that the first act had been on and that we were indeed to perform upstairs in the ‘posh room’!… it did look cool. As we entered, we were finally united with John and were introduced to the rest of the Smoky Carrot’s before disappearing into the changing room amid tales of semi clad Brazilian Samba dancers, rearranging their thongs! (there is more on this later, so please read on!)…

We weren’t due on until 10.45/11.00 so on ordering a round a just 5 bottled beers and encountering a bill of almost 20 quid, we quickly decided to drink them and escort our arriving entourage back to the pub round the corner from whence they had just come, in an attempt to help preserve their fragile bank balances!

Pleasantly refreshed, we ‘pied pipered’ back to the Cobden and took the stage 5 minutes later…. The stage was high, the room looked great and it wasn’t long before Steve ‘Mr. Mischief’ Filth was winding Grim up, darting between peoples legs and generally bouncing like a demented toy monkey about the stage… John grinned, Grim ‘grimed’ and the Baron, fired drumsticks into their backs as his slippery grip worsened as the band raised the temperature of the room… Whilst Andy, just couldn’t resist the brilliant arching staircase that led to the 5ft high stage… to max his Marc Bolan posings!

Ripping through ‘You want the world’, ‘numbers’, ‘Whatever happened to Friday night’… the crowd was visibly sliding deeper and deeper under The Scratch’s spell… however it wasn’t until a false started ‘Strange 4Play’ that, the highlight of the night took place…. Reminiscent of a cross between a distant night at the palladium and steamy Saturday night in Rio, one of the aforementioned Brazilian beauties… (and my god was she FIT!!!!)… burst into the room… seemingly lost and possibly making a wrong turn from the ladies, she appeared as if a vision through the swing doors, 'pazzazzing' and glittering as she did, it took a blink of an eye for her to be scaling the star case and delighting both a shocked audience and an ever contorted salavating band!… Quick as a flash (yes a carefully chosen adjective!)… Andy had discarded his guitar and was at first 'can-caning' with this most delicious of scantily clad creatures and then resting his drooling chin across her fish netted shimmering perfectly toned thigh… It wasn’t just blood pressure that was rising… if only they’d heard of lyrca in 1980, when Andy’s vintage tonic suit had been hewn a near certain call to the fire brigade would have been instantly avoided!

And then as quickly as she’d arrived she and gone, vanishing like Mr.Ben when the shopkeeper arrived and now with only Jordan’s photos as evidence (quick as you can mate!) and a single feather from her plumed headdress as keepsakes!….

From then on abandon rained Andy leapt from the stage and began frenziedly stalk the room, first crawling like a tiger on all fours, then leaping back on stage and scaling the staircase in two bounds as if possessed by some Shamanic Rio spirit to finale track Smell the Gas taps…

It had been a memorable, memorable show!….

Huge thanks to Jordan, Minkie (hope it’s spelt right!) and Jarrod (great to finally put a face to the name) from their respective ventures who have supported us so consistently in 2009. Recharged radio and Tourdates.

Big thanks also go to John B and team for their enthusiasm as we left the stage, we are very confident that now you’ve seen what we can do… things are gonna go from strength to strength…. The t-shirt looked great by the way Vicky, make sure you wear it to the Horn on 31st July eh! and Julia, yes, Hanover will be great!

Finally special thanks to Sam, Jez Cheades, Matt, McEwen the irrepressible! And Sara and family, great to see you… you’re getting good at this drinking lark Mark! (Sam those trousers… wear them again!!!)

Let’s hope that all the new faces and contacts we met tonight can join us in our quest for the next level. We’ve got it, if you guys have, we’ll all be smiling won’t we!

Next Stop Rableigh Heath, for a very British country affair!


Saturday July 18th

Andy the host had seen us at the now infamous Clint Boon gig and persuaded Andy Scratch that it would make his birthday he could grow back his ‘Girl’s World’ beard… Andy declined but the band agreed that a good compromise would be to play his party instead.

Following some great work by Leigh Cobra Kai, there was a brand new wooden drum riser at the far end of the expansive Marquee that Andy and co-host Brad had erected for the revelry… it was great to be on the same bill with our White Worm buddies again and who following a swift levels check proceeded to drink with us for the next 5 hours until the first band ‘Revival’ took to the stage…

Cobra Kai were due to proceed The Scratch on the final two spots of the night, but due to a rather ‘stage managed’ and ‘theatrical’ saga with the other band Max Factor… Mark (Jez) Cheadle, Wasabi Penis (Roddam) and Leigh consented to go early so as not spoil the flow of the party.

An excellent 20 minutes set ensued as the red eyed Cheadle swapped intricate guitar parlet with the newly christened Penis…
Can’t wait to see them again (band, not penis) at the Horn on 31st…

The ‘Factor’, were still in transit, via Derby, The M25 and Timbuktu, so with the landlord beginning to get twitchy about the volume, The Scratch decided to cut their losses and wade in with a 17 song strong set, (even Teen idol got it’s first live airing for 5 years!), that saw ‘Jackin-a-box', Filthy give a pure ‘snake in the grass’ of a performance and saw Andy Scratch hurled headlong by the host from a teetering piggy back position during the now hugely unpredictable and sure to end in tears soon, ‘Gas Taps’!

Thanks to all the people who came up to us after with high praise, let’s hope we can meet again on 31st…. thanks to those who purchased the ‘merch’ and finally, Filthy would love to send big hugs to ‘stripy t’, who had certainly taken a shine to the diminutive Scratch delinquent…

Big thanks to Andy for the gig and yes are truly the omelette king!
Thanks indeed to the whole family, whose hospitality the Ritz would have struggled to match…. Shame about Grim and John’s snoring!

See you on 31st ya’ll
xxxx