These double gigs are always so difficult to blog, cos there's always so much happening!… It all begins in the heart of 'cool London' - Thursday evening, The Bedroom Bar, Shoreditch… The occasion - The 50ft Woman ep launch do… Traffic was horrendous, parking was a nightmare and Steve Filth's car was packed tighter than a tin of no drain tuna… thus setting a big/small theme for the evening… the stage was tiny… Andy's platform shoes were big (well Minki had asked for people to wear their most stylish footwear, and Andy wanted to be able to look the hostess in the eye as she greeted the band at the door)… The PA was tiny… The band plugged in and set up in a three tier launch party cake formation; Grim and Steve at the front (fripperies and candy), Andy and John in the middle (Jam and Cream) and Super TC (The Sponge) at the back… ahem, apologies, digression…
Back in the room… Minki (50ft Woman) was looking especially radiant… and the clock was ticking, in what seemed like the blink of an eyelash the doors were open and it was time for the first of the Burlesque dancers… Each member of the band grabbed an arm or leg and with Super suitably restrained, the fun could begin… feathers, tattoos, sequins and flesh… now that's what I call an opening act… (strange 4play? no Super, down Super!)…
As 8.20 arrived… Alex Recharged span his last tune and it was time for The Scratch… platformed up and ready to go… a set comprising pretty much half new stuff and half familiarity was kicked off with Texture to the lava, the recently recalled DIY 'anthem'… that gave way to Desire to be thin, followed by Biting on my lip, 88th Day of rain, Weirder than we are, Against the grain and then it was into Spiral Scratch… but something was wrong… there was much head scratch and gesture coming from the fripperous candy boys, it transpired that Steve's guitar had cut out, the show was continuing but he was obviously at a loss for a solution… he manfully backing vocaled till the end of the song, but it was clear, some jiggery pokery was necessary… There was nothing else for it… Andy handed Steve his guitar and removed the mic from the stand, 4 songs earlier than usual (as you know kids, it's usually, mic off stand, Gas Taps and decension into chaos)… tonight, it was Critical Mass in more ways than one… the question was did Andy have more than the demented swan dive in his repertoire?… the new line up was really rocking; John and Super Solid as ever, a twitching Grizzle, now re-instated as the effect king and Steve improvising on a cross beam, wrestling a petulant guitar strap!… What commenced from then on was pure improvisation, there were camera licks, pole twirls, bar rolls, poof sits and even the 'play dead' exhibited during Teen Idol… with Minki who had joined the band on stage to sing dual vocal shouting "ok get up, get up" Andy lay motionless following a dramatic duck dive, this continued for the full middle 8, until suddenly on cue he rose like a very creased phoenix from the dead on the penultimate double chorus! Pure theatre?… you'll need to make your own minds up on that one…
A fabulous reception and it was time to make way for the star of the evening Ms Minki, fetishes to the max as per usual, Psychic Hygiene is still the favourite, but it now has a rival for our affections in the Ziggy meets AC/DC (yes the riff is pure Angus) Wham Bam! Before the finale Andy managed to scoop a prize from the hostess mid set, a convex mirror, not sure if it was a hint about the haircut?… and indeed, not at all sure what it was for now in the midsts of alcohol and love heart sweets, but it certainly weren't best shoes, they went to a lady in rather attractive silver sparkly pair… and then, all too soon it was over.
Well, not quite… for it was time to meet and greet! First off it was great to finally meet Spurs Simon, tweeter extraordinare and supporter, Mrs Spurs Simon (can't wait to see the pics!), Greg from Kamp David and all the others who said how much they'd enjoyed the set, not forgetting the Italian couple who wanted a photo with Andy, but then knocked his pint over with their bag, Mrs Steve (and her mates) fast becoming uber fan!, the bar staff who snuck us a couple of freebies and the burlesque girls who looked magnificent in their scratch badges (you must be careful where you pin them in the future though ladies!) and last but by no means least the Recharged crew especially Alex and Jordan, supportive and great as ever.
Before long Grim, Steve and John had departed on the trek home, leaving Andy and Super to schmooze a little further… when a rumour of an Adam Ant birthday bash at the Hoxton Underbelly came crackling through the room, an elite ligging crew was hurriedly assembled, including Alex, Minki and The Scratchers… but, not before the dynamic duo had lugged drums, guitar, amp and merch bag back to the hotel, in a bizarre grunting, laughing and struggling crocodilian formation… the look on the night porters face as on arrival in the hotel foyer, the errant twosome proclaimed to be 'sorry we're late, we're the band, where do we set up', was a sight to behold.
… Soon we were off in search of the club… Alas on arrival Mr Ant didn't show, but all was not lost, we had chance to exchange badges with Adam's guitarist Tree and a highlight on an already great night, was Andy being able to hand Mr Agent Provocateur himself Joe Corré (son of Dame Vivienne Westwood and the late and legendary Malcolm Mclaren) a 7" vinyl of I relax to Spiral Scratch… Ooh look at that for hobnobbing eh!
Never dull these nights never dull. Before I conclude the tale, an official and heart felt apology goes to Mrs John, for her being woken by the home phone at 2am, by a text from Andy proclaiming his excitement at his brief(s) encounter!…whoops… that alcohol, adrenalin, smart phone, combo still needs work Mr Scratch! And so, finally, after seeing Minki into a cab and following a 3am 'dirty kebab' Super and Andy bid the day farewell! Thanks 50ft Woman, that was pure Rock'n'Roll x
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